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Did That Just
Come Out of My Child's Mouth?
Talking
hack can sting, shock, embarrass, and it can turn your home into a
battleground. Jim Bozigar, head of community outreach at Children's
Hospital in Pittsburgh, runs a hack- talk workshop for parents. He says
that with a little understanding and self-restraint, parents can put a lid
on talking back.
"The
reasons for hack talk are as varied as the personalities of the children
who use it, says Bozigar. "The child could be hungry tired, or in a
transitional period. But children who talk back usually do have one thing
in common: They're trying to separate from their parents and exercise
control over their lives.
How
should you handle these outbursts? Bozigar suggests parents do some
behavior tracking.
"For
three days, make notes about what your child says, what the situation was,
and how you responded. See if you notice any patterns, and keep in mind
that when kids talk back, something else is going on underneath. The goal
is to help them express it constructively.
The
common back talk for preschoolers is "No! and "Why?
How
should you respond? Model good behavior! Try saying, "Wouldn't it be
nice if we didn't have to do things we don't like to do... Don't yell hack
and don't he sarcastic. The only person you can control is yourself. When
you model control, you teach kids to control themselves as well.
When
talking back turns into a full-fledged argument, Bozigar suggest that each
family member adhere to some simple rules:
-
Don't
attack I-Define what the problem is
-
Don't
belittle-Define how to rectify it
-
Don't
condemn I-Figure out what can be done to prevent it in the future.
This
information was provided by Family Education, located at
http: /
/familyeducation.com. |
